"A Witch is born out of the true hungers of her time. I am a child of the poisonous wind that copulated with the river on an oil-slick, garbage infested midnight. I turn about on my own parentage. I inoculate against those very biles that brought me to light. I am a serum born of venoms. I am the antibody of all time."
I treat myself like I would my daughter. I brush her hair, wash her laundry, tuck her in goodnight. Most importantly, I feed her. I do not punish her. I do not berate her, leave tears staining her face. I do not leave her alone. I know she deserves more. I know I deserve more."
"I like my coffee how I like myself: Dark, bitter, and too hot for you."
Porn is about male fantasy. The fantasy is that women like everything you do to them, as man.
So how does this translate into real life? Women spend a lot of time and energy trying to please men. We learn early on that we are being looked at – that we are to be looked at. That we are performers. It took years before I actually started enjoying sex. YEARS. I think what I enjoyed most about sex, when I was younger, was the feeling of being desired. The actual sex part was super boring for the first while.
We learn, as girls and women, that the performance is more important than the actual feeling."
I got lucky in a lot of ways. I’ve always been a bit stubborn and self determined, and honest about my feelings almost “to a fault”. Even luckier I got a guy who was crazy about me and determined to actually please me, even if he didn’t get for himself the conclusion that is all some people care about, and also very open to constructive criticism. Relationships, and intimacy should be honest, open and about pleasing each other, not through pretense (not referring to any role playing knowingly and consenting key engaged in of course), but genuine care and investment of effort. Everyone should be able to have that kind of relationship, but obviously the deck is stacked against that in too many ways.
This is a thing that worries me. How can I tell if a guy’s going to care about pleasing me before I have sex with him? Because if I reach that point I’ll already be too attached for it not to hurt if I find a reason I need to break up with him, and if a guy doesn’t care about my feelings then I need to break up with him. I don’t want to have to put myself through that a million times to find the one guy who actually cares. And of course they’re all going to say that they’ll care about pleasing me if I ask, and is there a way to tell if their answer is honest or manipulative?
Although my friend was just telling me that I’ve very good at bringing out men’s asshole tendencies, so I guess I have at least a bit of a filter.
Fight for your right to have an orgasm!